Our desires can, at times, feel like irresistible driving forces that govern our behavior. The want or yearning for an object, activity, or experience can be so powerful that it can dictate your actions, if you let it. The secret to controlling your desires is first, to understand the two types of desires.
On the surface, there are two types of desires: first order desires and second order desires. Everyone has first order desires, which is a desire for an act or experience. There are positive first order desires, such as the desire for success, happiness, procreation, companionship, and health. Then there are more negative first order desires that many try to resist such as eating junk food, smoking cigarettes, consuming caffeine, abusing hard drugs, committing violence, et cetera.
To have a second order desire, on the other hand, is a sign of intelligence and freewill. A second order desire is a desire about a desire. An example of this could be a person having a desire to smoke a cigarette, but then they have a desire to be rid of the desire to smoke for fear of the potential health risks. The second order desire calls into question the consequences of the first order desire and allows the individual experiencing the desires to determine whether or not the potential outcome is worth the satisfaction of the first order desire.
Without second order desires, people would compulsively indulge in all of their first order desires with no thought or consideration of the possible outcome. It is important to recognize when you are experiencing a desire and to deliberate the consequences of satisfying said desire. Doing this allows us to question our own compulsive behavior and realize the problems that we make for ourselves with the blind indulgence of our first order desires. Controlling your desires is a demonstration of your freewill, and acting from freewill is the secret to controlling your desires.
The sayings 'Control your desires or be controlled by them' and 'Free yourself from yourself' remind us to question even ourselves from time to time, to ensure we are acting from our freewill and not our automatic impulse. Many have found Yoga and meditation to be great ways to increase the awareness of your freewill and the desires that accompany it. These practices have long been used to cultivate a better relationship to desires and ultimately gain control of them.
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